According to the CDC, about 10% of women in the U.S. have trouble getting pregnant or staying pregnant. That number might sound small, but it covers over 6 million women—many of whom want to have children of their own and can feel devastated when it seems like it’s not in the cards. 

People who struggle with infertility have to deal with so much more than the physical side of things. As a woman, it might make you feel guilty, ashamed, or “broken” somehow.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  

Obviously, knowing you’re not alone can help you realize there is nothing wrong with you. Still, that doesn’t mean infertility ever seems fair or easy to deal with. So, when you struggle with it, how can you cope? 

Let’s look at a few things you should keep in mind if you’re dealing with infertility and the emotions it can bring. 

Accept Your Feelings

Again, infertility can cause feelings of shame and guilt, among other things. Because of that, you might try to ignore or avoid your true emotions. Maybe you think you’re just being “silly” or that your struggle isn’t relevant. 

Unfortunately, pushing away your feelings will only make things worse later. Emotions always demand to be felt, one way or another. 

Accept your feelings as they come, and acknowledge that they’re real. It’s only when you accept them that you can work through them. When you try to ignore them, you’re really only letting them sit and “stir” inside your mind, making it hard to think about anything else.  

Practice Self-Care

Self-care tends to be a buzzword that gets thrown around a lot these days. But, it really is an important practice, especially when you’re struggling. 

Taking care of yourself is crucial no matter what. When you’re dealing with infertility, though, doing things that alleviate stress and make you feel good about yourself will improve your outlook and perspective. 

Self-care can be as simple as exercising each day, reading your favorite book, cooking a meal, or journaling. You might also benefit from mindfulness or meditation, which can help you focus on your breathing and the present moment, rather than worrying about the past or future. 

It’s Important to Talk to Someone

One of the best things you can do when you’re struggling with infertility is to open up. Is it an easy thing to talk about? Not usually. But, by sharing what you’re going through with someone else, you can take some of the weight and burden off of your shoulders. 

Start by talking to your partner. They may not be dealing with the same struggles, but if they know how you feel about your infertility, they are the closest person who can share those feelings and understand what you’re going through. It’s important to lean on each other and decide which steps you want to take as you move forward. 

Talking to a trusted family member or friend can also help, especially if you need an outside perspective and additional support. 

If you’re really having a hard time, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. Again, you’re not alone in what you’re going through (even when it feels like it). A therapist can help you work through your feelings without trying to push them away. They can also help to give you the skills you need to manage those emotions and decide which steps you want to take on your fertility journey.  

If you’re struggling with infertility and you’re having a hard time dealing with your feelings, feel free to contact me. Together, we’ll work through those struggles so you can find a sense of peace in whatever comes next.